For Crying Out Loud!

The Giving Year

2012-02-12T21:39:00.000-08:00

It all started on New Year’s Eve, 2010, when our oldest daughter said, “Why don’t we see how much we can give to others next year?” We thought it sounded like a wonderful idea, so we went with it and adopted the family motto for 2011 “How can we help?” We know that giving takes many different forms and were excited to see what the year would hold.

Over the next 12 months, unbeknownst to my family, I made notes of ways we had given each month. I didn’t note them as they happened, but at the end of the month I would brainstorm the ways we had given of our time, resources, encouragement, etc. The goal was not necessarily to make a list (and definitely not to show anyone else the list), but to make our kids aware of what one little family can do when they decide that it is far more fun to give than to receive.

Most of us give in many ways each week: a meal to a friend, praying for someone who needs encouragement, helping out financially, a smile to a stranger, food to a begger, serving in our communities, giving away things we aren’t using anymore, and so on. The individual acts may seem small, but the efforts are not - they make a lasting impact on those you give to, not to mention the little eyes watching you.

In the past, I felt hesitant letting our kids know about our giving to others, because of the verse in the Bible that instructs us not to “let our left hand know what our right hand is doing” (Matt. 6:3). But this verse is not telling us we shouldn’t lead our kids to generosity, this verse in context is warning against bragging and doing good deeds for others to see, instead of from the heart. In talking about this concept, Garrick and I feel a huge responsibility to show our kids what giving looks like on a day-to-day basis, not sharing specific dollar amounts, but including them in our efforts. If we don’t model this privilege, how will they learn?

Fast-forward to Christmas Eve, 2011. As we sat around the table at our annual family dinner, I read the list of all the ways we were able to give to others, month-by-month, for the past twelve months. Garrick and the kids were honestly amazed at what 5 people can do! This post is not about what our family did or how we gave, but instead it is an encouragement for you to ask, “How can we help?” and then act on it. In the seemingly small and in the obviously big, you may very well discover what we have come to believe: it is truly more blessed to give than to receive.

So in 2012...be blessed!

Seven: An Experiment Against Excessive Living

2012-02-10T22:59:00.000-08:00

Seven by Jen Hatmaker, was in my stocking on Christmas morning and finished by the 27^th. To say I couldn’t put it down, is an understatement. I was captivated by Jen’s transparency, passion and humor from the get-go. In an effort to avoid being a spoiler, I’ll give enough scoop to dangle a carrot…then let you go get your own copy!

Jen was tired of the way she and her family were living and consuming, so she decided to do something about it. They embarked on an experiment that took nearly a year, and involved 7 different fasts, pertaining to 7 different areas in which they felt out of control. Food, clothes, cash, giving, green living and stress were just a few of the areas under attack. Her husband and a loyal group of girlfriends jumped on-board, along with her kids for the majority of the fasts. And when all was said and done, the fasts left a lasting impact on their daily lives.

So what can a reader expect from Seven? You will most likely squirm over the awareness of your own excessive living, but Jen’s writing style is not condemning whatsoever. She shares honestly about her personal struggle and it’s something we can all identify with in some way. The challenge is for you to walk away compelled to live more wisely in your corner of the world. That may mean following Jen’s lead and embarking on her 7 fasts, or a variation your own, or it may mean making tweaks and changes in other ways. The goal of this book is not for the reader to imitate the Hatmakers’ journey, but for each to evaluate his or her own choices, and weigh them in light of God’s word and responsible stewardship.

This book is a crash course in responsible living! From supporting local businesses to composting and cutting back in spending, you can expect your eyes to be opened to a different, better way of living. Many of us spend very little time thinking about our environment or the affect of our living on those coming after us. This is not only foolish, it is arrogant. This world was not created just for me and my little family. I now realize my responsibility both to God and to the generations after us, to care for His earth and actually leave something to pass on.

We are a people with an unprecedented amount of possessions and we can make an unprecedented impact in the lives of those around us if we choose to share what we’ve been given and live responsibly. Whether you feel led to make any changes to your lifestyle, I highly recommend Seven. Jen writes in a way that is compelling, honest, sarcastic and hilarious. (As a side note, I have known Jen for nearly 20 years and she is the real deal! She lives what she believes.)

My family will make better choices and continue in a pattern of giving and seeking to live responsibly, seeking to honor God with our lives. Thanks, Jen, for faithfully bearing your heart and soul. The church is a better bride because of your voice.

Out of the Spin Cycle

2010-06-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

I just finished a "must read" for all moms... "Out of the Spin Cycle" by Jen Hatmaker. This book is a fresh, new devotional to help "Lighten the Mother Load". (smile) And help, it did! The devo is both practical and hilarious. I found myself laughing and tearing up in the same reading. Topics covered in this 40-day devotional range from worry, priorities, marriage and the comparison trap. You will not be disappointed by this book!

Each day's read, ends with a thought provoking, often painstaking question to ponder (or answer in your journal if you're into that sort of thing). Jen also challenges you to take a step toward becoming a better mom, wife & woman by throwing out an idea as to how you can apply what you've just read. For instance, on the day where she taught on the importance of communicating in the language that each of our children speak (this will be different for each child in your home), she ended the reading with the challenge, "Create a moment to speak the special language to each of your children today."

I had the fun chance to catch Jen on the phone today and we chatted a bit about motherhood. Her are some of her responses to specific questions about the book:

When we put our relationship with our children over our relationship with God, what threatens to happen?

First of all, we end up raising spoiled brats. (I’m kidding. Sort of. Not really.) We don’t mean to, but when we position our kids as the center of the universe – unfortunately taking God’s rightful place there – then our perspective gets all out of whack and we fail to put God in the center of our kids’ universe. They get the idea that the world revolves around their needs, their feelings, their moods, and let me tell you something Mamas: That is messed up. I know kids like this. You do too. We can’t stand them. (I mean that nicely.) When God is an afterthought for Mom, then God becomes optional for her kids. Of course He does; He’s just not that big of a deal, clearly.

This is to say nothing of the disaster this creates with the Mom. Her entire identity is wrapped up in her children, and that does precious little for her stability when her cherubs discover the phrase “I hate you!” and learn to throw temper tantrums. When there is no Jesus saying, “This is who you are. This is your value. You are loved. You are blessed,” then all we’re left with are our kids who sometimes say, “Instead of living in a family who has to ‘learn to make good choices,’ I WISH I WAS HOMELESS!!” (my Caleb, age six). This doesn’t bode well for the soul.

Plus, you’re disconnected from God.

Plus, you lose touch with your gifts.

Plus, your well runs dry.

Plus, you turn into a cranky, cranky girl.

With God solidly at the center of your universe, you can do this, Mama. Your perspective won’t be decimated by a toddler who decides he hates vegetables and doesn’t want to nap anymore. Every little thing that goes wrong won’t derail you. You won’t forget what you’re good at and what makes you happy. You’ll be able to dig deep and find a little somethin’-somethin’ at the end of the day for your hubby, God love him.

What are some examples of little ways moms disciple their children?

Contrary to popular belief, ALL the ways we disciple our kids are little. Discipleship takes place in the smallest moments over days, months, and years. It is a process, and it involves one million tiny conversations, moments, and demonstrations. Don’t be discouraged, Mamas! Hang in there and keep planting that kingdom; my son just received the Sixth Grade Good Citizenship Award chosen by the teachers for helping without being asked and acting kindly toward his classmates. I know. I’m as shocked as you are. I always thought I’d be the mother of the kid “Most Likely to End Up on Jerry Springer.”

How can mothers raise their children to reach the unsaved world?

Can I just say this right up front? Mamas, if we want to raise kids who want to reach the unsaved world, then we better raise them to love those people, not judge and fear them. With the best of intentions, we often raise our little ones in isolation and seclusion then expect them to know how to engage the broken world they’ve been kept from their whole lives. We end up launching out shocked little weirdos who don’t know how to connect with real people.

So, as you can see by this tiny peek into Jen's mama heart, you are in for a treat in "Out of the Spin Cycle".

I plan to read it and re-read it multiple times for a dose of encouragement and reality!

Not a Red Letter Week

2010-05-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

There are some weeks no parenting book can prepare you for. Last week was one of them. I'm sure you know the kind of week I'm talking about. More on your list of things to do than you could possibly get done, then add a natural disaster to the mix (baseball-sized hail, anyone?) with the phone calls and insurance adjusters to chat with, and there seems to be no sign of daylight.

On top of doin' the daily mommy business, our children decided to add their own flavor of drama. You know what I mean... the one's who seemed to have gotten it, when it came to getting along, somehow managed to have forgotten it, coinciding with the baby showing new signs of his sin nature, all making for more noise and "teachable moments" than this mama had energy for. Add to that a speeding ticket (haven't gotten one in YEARS!), 3 year old's birthday party to plan, speaking engagement to prepare for and a a toddler throwing up Saturday morning (as we were on the way to a birthday party) and hours before leaving for an out-of-town graduation party, and I was ready to hit I40 and just keep on going!

Finally....date night! It had been looked forward to all week, even mentioned in a facebook status. Sweet hubby took me out for sushi and the most wonderful cupcakes in OKC, but somewhere between edamame and Rock N Roll sushi rolls one set of lips was speaking words and the other set of ears received them completely differently than intended. Translation: a major marital misunderstanding. Talk about a real mood killer. We were forced to spend the remainder of our date trying to salvage our miscommunication (and might I mention we were teaching from the book of Proverbs on the power of our words the next morning). Never fails. No matter what we teach on, God always allows us to experience fresh personal examples. (Sigh.)

It seems that one tough realm of life snow-balled into the next until pretty much every part of my world was affected. (Did I mention my house needs a good deep-cleaning?) There's the red flag that I should have heeded earlier in the week. When life is spinning out of control, I should expect that, if not dealt with there will be negative consequences in every other area of my world. The problem is, sometimes we just keep going on- full speed ahead because our schedule is to full to stop and address the inevitable. I sure hope I learned my lesson!

Which brings me to the point of this post. Just need to throw a pity party and get this tough week off my chest? No. I need to stop, take inventory and start again. And the best way for me to do that is to write- you just get to be a part of this cleansing. (Smile.)

Here's why I write:

1) As I write, the Lord teaches me. Blogging is for my own spiritual benefit. If others take something positive away from it, that's icing on the cake.

2) I believe that as moms, we need to stick together. I know someone else has had a week that left you weary and I'd love to encourage you to stay the course. We are not perfect. Not one mom holds it together every second of every day. There are no perfect children out there. When one mom is transparent enough to air her dirty laundry, in an attempt to help other moms, we all win, because we can take a collective deep breath and get right back in there. We need each other to laugh with, learn from and lean on. This is the toughest job you'll ever have! We must encourage one another not to give up.

3) Because my husband and I are in ministry, for some strange reason, some folks have the notion that we don't have bad weeks. That our children always respond with a scripture and a song and that we haven't had a disagreement since 1999. Not true. Yes, we're learning, growing and getting better at admitting our faults, but we still have our moments. We are human and we have bad weeks. There. I said it.

So, what do I do when I have a week like the last week? I listen to my own sermon! I practice the principles that I will be teaching a group of moms next week.

Run to Jesus. Pour out my frustrations to Him and ask Him to fill me up with His life-giving power. Scripture promises that those of us who have accepted Christ as our Lord have been given His kind of incredible love, poured into our hearts. ("Hope does not disappoint us because God has poured His love into our hearts by His Holy Spirit He has given to us." Romans 5:5) I ask God for a fresh wave of His kind of love so I can pour it out to my kids and my husband.
Renew my mind. It's easy to begin grumbling and complaining about anything and everything when a week hasn't gone your way. This is dangerous ground. There are certain verses in Scripture that put my perspective back in check. I remind myself that "it's not about me". And I remind myself what I would tell one of my children if he/she was pouty about a bad day. ("Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Philippians 2:14-15) Our family motto is based on this verse, "Shine like stars".... sometimes I need to tell myself to take the lead.
Remember who I am. Oftentimes motherhood strangles the other parts of your person. You are not just a mother. You are a wife, daughter, friend, child of God- and so much more, depending on your own personality. Do you like to paint? Bake? Run? Decorate? Dare I say shop? Garden? Journal? Carve out a little bit of time to be you... maybe your hubby will watch the kids one evening or on Saturday. Maybe a girlfriend will trade favors with you. This is crucial. God did not intend for the precious person He crafted when He made you to go into hiding for 18 years. He still has plans and purposes that only you can fulfill. It energizes me when I'm able to slip away for a run, bake something sweet, visit a friend over coffee or read an excellent book. This is not selfish. When we enjoy the way God created us, we glorify Him by enjoying His creation. And we return refreshed and refueled.
Rest. This one's pure and simple: sometimes the most spiritual thing I can do is take a good nap. Did that this afternoon and I already feel better. Taking care of our bodies takes care of our spirits.
Right the wrong. If I have been harsh in my tone with my children or misunderstood my husband, I must right the wrong quickly. Time is our enemy here, because time builds up walls between us, putting us in relational bondage. There is freedom in forgiveness. We teach our children far more by admitting our faults and asking for forgiveness than we do trying to live "perfect" conflict-free lives. That's not reality. There will be hurt feelings and there will be cause to apologize in the real world, let's model this well for our families.
Re-enter the race. I love knowing that today is tomorrow's yesterday. Seriously, a bad day can only last 24 hours, then we get a new start. ("Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23) I love the promise that each day has new mercy waiting for me. Embrace a new day... or a new month... or a new year, with hope in your heart. God has not left us to be consumed by our sinful failures, He is faithful! And I am so thankful!

May you be encouraged to pursue God in all that you do. Don't give up, even when it's hard. And love those in your world to the fullest measure. I will leave you with my favorite verse when I am just plain exhausted:

"Surely you know. Surely you have heard. The Lord is the God who lives forever, who created all the world. He does not become tired or need to rest. No one can understand how great his wisdom is. He gives strength to those who are tired and more power to those who are weak. Even children become tired and need to rest, and young people trip and fall. But the people who trust the Lord will become strong again." (Isaiah 40:27-31)

Caught in the Cross-Fire

2010-05-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, ladies, I've had enough. Last week, I was stunned speechless by Miley Cyrus' latest music video, "I Can't Be Tamed" (see the link at the bottom of this post). This tween star, turned teen star is most definitely making a statement - loud and clear - that she's not the little girl she once was. This statement is complete with attire that resembles lingerie, both men and women dancing suggestively all around her, as she dances in ways usually reserved for strip tease.... and, yes, there is a "pole dancing" segment. As I watched the video I literally felt sick and near tears. "What happened?" I asked myself. "Where were her parents?" I later got the answer to the second question when I read a portion of an interview with Miley in which she was asked if she thought the video was a bit too sexy. Her response was, 'no- my mom was watching the whole time and she was ok with it'. Our culture has fed us a lie and we- women, men, Christians and non-Christians alike- have bought into it. That lie is that sex sells and sexy is a must. As women, we are constantly confronted with images that creep their way into our minds, with the power to change our convictions and skew our view of right and wrong. If we see enough junk and choose not to replace that lie with the truth, our attitudes and actions begin to change and our Christ-centered convictions become watered down. Bottom line: what was once black and white, has now become gray. What we once stood firm for, we now argue is "not that bad".

This is a profound tragedy for believers, but the effects are magnified one hundred-fold for moms. Our children, are counting on us to help them navigate this sex saturated culture in a way that honors Jesus. They are counting on us to show them how to live lives that are founded on God's Word alone, not swaying with the times or popular culture. Our girls need us to lead by example: in what we wear, how we present ourselves, how we speak, what we look at, how we spend our time and who we allow to influence us. They need to know how to be young ladies in a world full of girls growing up way too fast. They need boundaries and standards, and it's up to us to enforce them. It is not only our responsibility, but our privilege as moms, to lead our daughters by example.

Which leads me to what I watched today. Even more disturbing than watching Miley's video (because at least she's 17, not 7!) was the video of elementary school-aged girls in a dance competition, dancing suggestively to "Single Ladies". I watched this video on Popeater.com, literally crying as I sat at my computer. These are little girls who have been taught to imitate behavior decades beyond their years and allowed to wear a costume I would not allow my 18-year old to wear. Costumes, might I add, that were purchased by their parents. How could their parents stand by - sit in the audience - and watch their babies dance in this way. I'm nauseous at the thought of what this video will stir among the sick men preying innocent girls on youtube. I recommend that you watch this, without your children nearby. Unfortunately, ignorance is not bliss.

Be warned moms: we are under attack. Our families are under attack. I pray that none of my friends whose daughters are involved in dance recitals, have had to contend with a costume or routine of this magnitude. And I pray that if you do find yourself in a situation like this, you will have the courage to speak the truth in love, then lovingly withdraw your precious daughter from that dance company.

God's word is clear about our bodies. They were made by Him and they are precious to Him. God desires to use us as instruments of good, but Satan desires to use us as instruments of sin. We must be on-guard; our enemy lurks like a roaring lion with a plan to attack and destroy. May our children not be caught in the cross-fire!

"For you created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

*If you are a mom, read this passage to your daughter and tell her how incredibly special she is to you and to God.

*Explain to her that she was created by a Creator who loves her and has a wonderful plan for her life.

*Look for opportunities to train her in modesty and purity. When you are confronted with a cultural lie, help your daughter to see the truth of God's word.

*I highly recommend, "5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter" by Vicki Courtney. In this book she covers, in detail, the lie that "you are worth the sum of your parts" and how we can dismantle that lie as we train our daughters. Order it now!! :O)

*FOR MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE BOYS- Please don't read this post and think, "Whew.... I"m glad I have boys! I'm off the hook!" You sweet young ones will have this kind of junk shoved in their faces. How will they respond? How will we raise boys who don't succumb to the mindset that women are objects to be looked at and enjoyed? Well.... my friend, Vicki Courtney, has also written, "5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son". Order it now!! :O)

A Mother's Music

2010-05-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

I love raising girls! I love huge hair bows on top of squeaky clean heads, rosy cheeks and rosebud lips. I love giggles in the dark and snuggles in the morning. I love to dress them "girly" and I love to see them dressed-up as a pretty princess. I love that they want to marry Daddy, want to be the first to hug him and love to dance on his shoes. I love that they call me the Queen and dream of being married to a man who loves Jesus, the queen of their own "castle" some day. I love to hear them talk to God and share with me their thoughts about Him and His word. I love that every "pretty weed" or stray flower must be immediately brought to me and placed in water. I love that they bring me breakfast in bed with heart-shaped waffles, for no reason at all. I love the girly way they compliment my hair or outfit before a date and won't let us leave the house without 18 HUGS. I love watching them grow into beautiful young women - celebrating milestones along the way like teeth lost and ears pierced... and, especially hearts given to Jesus. I love painting tiny fingers and toes purple, pink, red or rainbow. I love to hear them call my name, with a sing-song voice and a beautiful smile.

I love raising a boy! I love his messy hair, grass-stained knees and chubby cheeks that beg to be kissed. I love the way he snuggles against my face when I get him up in the morning and kisses me on the cheek when we play "Sleeping Beauty". I love that he likes to play with cars, notices dump trucks and motorcycles and makes 'Vrmmm' noises while he plays. I love to hear him sing "Jesus Loves Me" in the dark and sweet original songs in the morning. I love that every stick must immediately be picked up and used as a sword and his tiny arms must be flexed to show off muscles. I love his hugs before we leave the house and dodging his peanut-butter hands on my clean clothes. I love to hear him call my name, then grin a thousand-mile-wide-grin when I turn to look at him.

I love raising siblings. I love the way they adore one another and light up when the other enters the room. I love their inside jokes and backseat giggles. I love to hear them ask for and give forgiveness to each other. I love their, 'I love you's' to each other. I love the hours of hide-and-seek, tag, coloring, dress-up, house, school and all manner of made-up games played inside our home. I love the sound of them laughing together, racing for the first hug from Daddy, running to get the mail or to help Mommy. I love the way they encourage each other.

"Mom, look how cute Bo is!"

"Didn't Madi do a great job on this drawing?!"

"Lynnley was so brave, Mom!"

"Good job! You're really good at that."

I love the gift of a family! To you, my sweet ones, thank you for blessing me with the title of mom. Without YOU there would be no Mother's Day for me. And to you, my faithful LORD, thank you for blessing me with these three treasures. They are mine for today, may I mother them well.

"Children are an inheritance from the LORD. The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

The Pink Dress

2010-04-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Some of my girlfriends and I had the privilege of serving a meal at the Ronald McDonald House. It started with a conversation over coffee, which lead to an idea, then transformed into a reality. We planned our menu, made our mega-trip to Sam's (with kids in tow) and headed to The House. Cooking together was super fun and we laughed our way around the over-sized kitchen, trying to figure out where they might keep things like measuring cups.

The evening we served, happened to be not so busy. We sat and talked with one Grandma who was visiting her little grandson and had been there two weeks. He'd had a shunt put in his head and they were hoping for a good report in the morning so they could go home.

Another husband and wife came in. They had been there five weeks, sitting beside their grown son who had been in a horrific car accident and was still in a coma. He was texting while driving. The father looked beyond weary and the mother hadn't left his side.

Many families were still sitting beside their children at the hospital, but would return later for dinner. So we packed up the food in Tupperware so they could eat when they returned. As we worked, a young father came in. He and his wife - married less than a year - had premature twins and one didn't survive. They sat next to their baby, watching the monitors day and night. Hanging on every breath he took. This dad looked worn and weary and fresh tears came when we asked what they'd named the baby they'd lost. We attempted to show Christ's love as we served and assured them they'd all be in our prayers.

We were definitely heavy-hearted as we packed our things and headed for the door. The night was so special and we agreed to come again. As difficult as it was to hear the heart-breaking stories, this was where we needed to be. For them and for us. Our hearts were stirred with love for others and gratitude for all that we'd been given. Our eyes were open to the reality some are facing and this made our daily struggles seem trivial.

We didn't think our hearts could be pricked any further until we walked out the front door. There she stood, next to her car where mom was unloading their luggage for a stay at The House. She looked about the age of my daughter - maybe four of five - sparkly shoes and a beautiful pink dress, a sweet smile and a beautiful bald head. I think all of us held our breath for a moment, taking in the sight. We were already on the verge of tears, overwhelmed by what we'd see that evening, but the sight of this precious, young one put us over the edge. Graciously God allowed us to have the words to greet her mom and a "hello" for this sweet little one, but as soon as our car doors closed, our eyes filled. Wow. We were overcome with emotion from the whole evening. My sweet friend broke the ice by saying, "Girls, we've got it good." And we do, there is no denying that. We've done nothing to deserve it, but we are blessed beyond measure.

The reality of life; the precious gift of health; the road that some are walking. My eyes are open, my heart is tender. Yes, it's more comfortable to go on in ignorance, assuming everyone's day looks just like mine. But that's just not true and it's not fair to those walking the difficult road. God has called me to love them in any way I can: a meal, a smile, a prayer. This is not much to ask and as a follower of Jesus, it's my calling to reach out. I can't ignore the hurting.

I now see with different eyes. I am reminded to pray for these parents whose lives revolve around doctor's appointments and test results. Asking for super-natural strength to carry the load they've been given. I now look at my children, who at this moment have been given the gift of health... and sometimes, I see her. Sometimes, as I look at my four-year-old daughter, I see the pink dress and the bald head - and I'm so grateful God reminds me.

A Set-Apart Time

2010-02-16T20:30:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, our pastor encouraged our congregation to begin observing and celebrating the Lent season. This was not a part of the Easter season in the churches we’d grown up in, and we were curious to learn more about it. We honestly had never given thought to Lent, assuming it was only observed by other denominations, and were eager to learn more and initiate new Easter traditions into our family. The more thought we gave it, the more it made sense. As a family, we spend several weeks anticipating and celebrating the birth of Jesus; why should we give His death- which bought our salvation!- less attention? In the past, we’d talked about the importance of truly focusing our hearts on the Easter season, without much luck coming up with a way to make it a truly special season, not just a special weekend.

I believe this is why the Lent season struck a chord with us. As a family, we began observing Ash Wednesday, which begins the special season, then fasting during the Lent season, which concludes with Eater Sunday. Our pastor suggested we pray about something we could give up, or fast from, during this season. A daily, physical reminder of all that Jesus gave up for us, and the desire to truly identify with Him. Over the years our fasts have ranged from certain types of food or activities, to a re-ordering of our schedules- such as, waking up earlier than usual to spend more time in prayer. We also try to read a pertinent passage of Scripture during dinner to engage our children in the season, encouraging those old enough to consider giving up something, too.

Lent should be the most sacred part of the Christian’s year, but often we blow right past the weeks leading up to the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins, without really taking the time to meditate on what that truly meant for Him and what it truly means for us. By observing the Lent season, we find that our hearts are more sensitive to sin in our lives and our thoughts turn more often toward the precious blood that was shed for our sins. This is the secret to a thriving, life changing relationship with Jesus. Following Christ is not a one-time event, it is a daily choice. Just as we are called to give ten percent of our earnings as a tithe to the Lord, the Lent season is equal to ten percent of our year. Just as the Lord promises to bring spiritual blessing to those who are faithful with our money, He will bring spiritual blessing to those to take personally the sacred Lent season. No matter what we choose to fast from, or which disciplines we seek to focus on, we must remember that nothing we do through self-denial or good works can ever earn God's favor, forgiveness or salvation. As our pastor says, “Lent is not about our giving up something to please God. Lent is about what Jesus Christ gave up to pay the penalty for the sins of the world.”

Dirty Secret

2010-01-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've got a great tip for all you busy gal's out there and I promise, it's legal! It's a hair product by TIGI in the Rockaholic line, called Dirty Secret: Dry Shampoo. The promise is to "Keep your hair rockin' One More Day". My confession: I use it often. Yes, it's true. This product is fabulous for second...er um, third day unwashed hair. Honestly, for a very busy gal who's grateful to get a nice hot shower, let alone have time to wash, dry, style my hair, this product was a near miracle. The first day I used it, I immediately called my sister and said something like, "I just got the most amazing hair product EVER! You have to go buy it today!" (She shares my time dilemma.)

Yes, I understand that I'm being a bit dramatic about a hair product, but it has been somewhat life altering for me. Not in a world-changing-eternal sort of way, but definitely evidenced by the fact that my days of covering unwashed hair with a hat are far fewer.

So this new product got me thinking about my relationship with the Lord...yes, I'm really going to spiritualize a hair product. See, here's the deal, there's only SO much that "Dirty Secret" can really do for my hair. The only true solution to hair that's lost it's luster is actual shampoo and water. And, oh how great clean hair feels! Totally different than "dirty-secret-clean". And that's really the secret to a thriving walk with Jesus. I admit, there are days when a quick moment in God's word and 5 minute prayer time- or "on-the-go" prayer time- are all I can muster. This is a super crazy and unpredictable season I'm living in and I must give myself grace when it comes to my expectations of my self. However, I also must MAKE time for a real, cleansing time in the word and real, heartfelt communication with Jesus. Those "quick fixes" can only get me by for so long. Kinda like my hair (I know this might sound like a pathetic analogy to some), when I go more than a couple of days without REAL time with the Lord, my life loses it's luster. I feel a spiritual dullness and the folks in my home can definitely tell- no hat can cover that up. But more than that, I miss the intimacy that only Jesus can bring. I really long to be in His presence, feeling refreshed and renewed by Him alone. And I walk away from those moments so grateful for a Savior that offers me real answers, not quick fixes.

What about you? What kind of quick fixes are you depending upon spiritually? In this new year, may we make the time for the ONE who cares more, loves more and gives more peace than any other. May we make more time for Jesus. My precious husband always says, "We do what we want to do." So true, babe.

Thanks for Your Song, Solomon!

2009-11-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

My sweet husband and I co-teach in the "young" married adult class at our church - the term "young" is getting looser every year. We share teaching responsibilities with some of our dearest friends, which allows for variety in our class and natural breaks in our teaching schedule. We like this arrangement very much! So it's our turn to teach right now and what in the world did the Lord put on our hearts but the Song of Solomon! I mean, we'd read it before... but maybe never really READ it like it was meant to be read. Whoa! Let me just say that God is definitely the very first romantic. Frank Sinatra aint got nothin' on the Sovereign Lord!

What we have seen in the Song is a very clear cycle of love that, if paid attention to, will go a long way in meeting the needs of both husband and wife. Here's what I mean. Solomon knows how to draw the heart of his leading lady. He compliments her, telling her that she is the "most beautiful among women", dispelling her insecurities when she mentions the fact that she doesn't look like the other women of their culture. (Thank you very much! I can so relate to that insecurity.) He assures her that it isn't those other gals he's after, it's her. Then he gives her jewelry. Hallelujah! It's biblical... I knew it! Gift-giving, it woos the heart of a woman. He makes time for her, letting her know that even though he's busy- I mean, he was the king- he still wanted to make time for her. And he shows her affection.

So she responds to his advances. She compliments him right back with words building up his character, reputation and outward hotness. She left no guessing that she was totally into him. And she returned his physical advances by making moves right back, if you know what I mean. Now, they are married, so everything about their love affair is not only "legal", it glorifies God.

Garrick and I have had a lot of fun studying this book together. I love the way God orchestrates the timing of events; we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next month. What fun we've had reminiscing our relationship and looking forward to what lies ahead!

So, in honor of the precious love of my life and as a tribute to King Solomon for penning- under the inspiration of the LORD- such pertinent information about love, sex & marriage, I thought I share a couple of Garrick & Heather photos~ circa 1999 and 2009. We've changed a bit. ;o)

Changing Diapers Changes Me

2009-08-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

I recently got a phone call from a friend who is a brand-new, first-time mom. As I listened to her desperate voice on the phone I was struck with the memory of myself, when my first-born was that very same size. I remember feeling as though life as I knew it was over, along with my body and my mind! And as I heard my friend’s biggest question, I smiled silently because I, too, had had that same question. She simply wanted to know, “Will I ever be the same again?” My gentle response came from lessons learned through my own experience as a mom…”no, you won’t be the same”. But that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. If we will allow it, we can find a great spiritual transformation when our name changes to “mom”. This transformation is sometimes called “Christ-likeness”, a word that basically means, “becoming like Christ”.
Now you may be wondering how changing diapers, putting on band-aids, making peanut butter and honey sandwiches and folding that never-ending pile of laundry resembles the sovereign work of our Savior. And we can find that answer in the New Testament in the book of Matthew, chapter 25.
In this chapter Jesus is telling His disciples a story about two different groups of people. One group took care of the needs of those around them, but the other didn’t. Jesus explained to those faithful followers that whenever they fed or clothed someone in need, whenever they visited and took care of the sick, they were in actuality taking care of His very own needs. Matthew 25:40 says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me'.”
Often we think of “caring for the needs of others”, as people who may be less fortunate than us, living outside of the walls of our homes. It is true that we are called to love and care for the needy in our communities. But I hear Jesus saying so much more than that in this passage. He did not quantify a needy person as a person in a certain class of society. He simply quantified him or her as someone in need of something. As I read this passage, I realize that when my child is hungry and needs to be fed, if I cheerfully meet her need, I have fed my Savior! And when my husband is in need of clean socks and underwear, if I do his laundry with love and gratitude for him in my heart, I have met a need for Jesus…that speaks volumes to me. Because suddenly, the mundane, ordinary tasks of my daily life have extra-ordinary, even eternal value! I realize that even if I never hear the words, “thank you” spoken from the human lips of those I am serving, I have a Father in heaven who sees and knows my every act of love and He is the one in Whom I am working for.
One more lesson from this passage-before I go change a dirty diaper- is the opportunity we have to teach our children to care for others. If we have hearts of joyful service (which, by the way, doesn’t come naturally for me- but comes through the Holy Spirit), our children will, in turn, learn to serve one another as though they’re serving the Lord. It is my hope and prayer that we can raise up a generation of children who penetrate our communities and our world, with the understanding that servant-hood and Christ-likeness is what we’re after.
The day doesn't have to look out of the ordinary on paper to bring glory to God. In fact, when I look at Scripture, what I see are a lot of run-of-the-mill folks, doing everyday activities and finding Jesus in the midst. I want to join those followers and bring Him praise through my everyday life.

I added a photo with this post of my girls reading their Children's Bible together. My son was a new baby at that time and life was very busy... a lot of diapers were being changed! When I came into their room and saw them "reading" God's Word my heart was filled with joy. I remember thinking, "Maybe they're catching something we're teaching." So many days run together, but if we make even tiny efforts to add God's truth to our children's lives, I believe we will reap a harvest.

F.C.O.L.

2009-03-08T19:22:00.001-07:00

"For Crying Out Loud!"...what a strange name for a blog, you might think. Allow me to explain. My husband and I have been married almost a decade and dated 2 years prior to marriage, so this story dates back almost that long. We are a quirky little couple, to say the least. We've been called: corny, silly, odd...but most often, cheesy. We love to laugh and we have many "inside jokes", one of which you are about to become and insider. For whatever reason, we love to use abbreviations. Not sure how or when it started, but I'm certain it will carry on the length of our relationship- we're praying for 60+ years together- and we continue to create new abbreviations to this day. For example, when one of us thinks it's time for one of our children to go to bed, he or she will look at the other and say, "I'm going to PHD." Translation: Put Her (or him) Down. PHD began when our firstborn was a newborn and has been used to describe this process for each of our children many, many times. Why? We don't know. Who started it? We can't remember. But that is who we are...a silly little couple, who use a lot of abbreviations. So, you're still on the edge of your seat desperate to know what in the world is F.C.O.L. and why did I use it as the name of my blog? Okay, okay, let me get to the point. One of our favorite phrases to say to one another is, "For crying out loud!" Hence: F.C.O.L. We began this particular abbreviation during our first year of marriage, and, truth be told, it was most likely most often used when one of us was frustrated/irritated at the other. And, since I'm telling the truth, I might even add that some of the times the phrase was used, I probably was crying out loud! But now, it is used on whoever seems to need it at the time. Probably one of our children!

But, why the name of a blog? Well, it is one of our oldest, most loved abbreviations to bring out of the abbreviation closet, and always brings a smile to our faces, but it also got me thinking about something Jesus once said. Some Pharisees were giving Him a hard time because His disciples were- get ready for this one- praising His name, declaring His glory! The nerve of them! But Jesus turned, rebuked the Pharisees, saying, "If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out!" Hallelujah! The glory of our Lord is so great it must be declared, His name must be praised! And I'd rather almost anything than to hear a stone cry out in praise for my Savior because I kept quiet. So that's what this blog is about. It's a chance for me to brag on my God and share with my friends the incredible things He has done in the day-in-day-out living of my ordinary life. Life gets pretty crazy and hectic at times, but if we look hard enough there's always some praising to be done! Let no stones cry out on account of my closed mouth!